Single heading into the New Year? You may be wondering how Tantra applies to you. How can you practice Tantra without a partner? How could Tantra enhance your single life?
Tantra is a practice for everyone to first and foremost create a loving relationship and deeper connection with oneself. Singlehood is the perfect opportunity to start cultivating that relationship. Regardless if you are dating, looking for a beloved, or enjoying being alone, these Tantric practices can support you and alter your single life in 2016.
Single and dating…
Did you know that taking some time to consciously connect with your date can greatly enhance your sexual experience? Even if you’re in a non-committed relationship, you can still create a meaningful connection for the time that you are together. Instead of just “hooking up,” try out these practices to drop into a deeper sensual experience.
- Eye gazing
Looking into someone’s eyes allows us to drop out of our fears and desires and start to truly see the other person for who they are. Sit across from each other and look into each other’s left eye. The left eye refers to the receptive side of our brain; the part of us that accesses our emotions and allows us to be more vulnerable. Breathe together and notice any thoughts, judgments, or worries that start to cross your mind. Observe these and reconnect to your breath and to your partner. Notice how the thoughts start dropping away as you become more present to each other.
- Kissing Connection
Take a few moments to consciously kiss each other. Take your time and feel all the sensations. Notice the touch of your lips together, the feeling of being close to another, the feeling of a warm embrace. Notice the urge to take things further and bring yourself back to the present moment, to the art of kissing. Reconnect to your breath and notice your body becoming alive with sensation.
Single and looking for a Beloved…
Are you ready to draw a partner into your life? This process may be a mysterious and challenging one. As mentioned, Tantra teaches us to create a loving relationship with ourselves first. Then we can attract the person of our dreams, free of neediness and unrealistic expectation. Here are some tips for drawing a beloved into your life:
- Trust yourself
Trusting yourself is the antidote to doubting. We may begin to feel that “it’s too late for me” or “I’ll never find the person I’m looking for.” Trusting and believing in your vision will get you through these doubts and keep you on course to realize your dream.
- Stay true to yourself
Sometimes we get lost in the wanting. Continue to treat yourself as your own best friend. Take yourself on dates, practice self-care, and do the things you enjoy. As you continue to honor yourself, your light will shine from the inside out and people will be bound to be attracted to you.
- Surprise yourself
Letting go of how something “should be” allows us to see what is around us. Perhaps the person you are looking for is right in front of you but doesn’t necessarily look like the way you thought. Set your intention of finding your beloved and tap into the feeling of what it would be like to have that person in your life. Then be open to who shows up in your life; you may be surprised!
Single and enjoying being alone…
There are even practices for you! If you are totally content being single and not looking to draw another person into your life, you can still cultivate a loving relationship with yourself. Masturbation often turns into a habitual act. We know what works for us and return to the same thing over and over again. We frequently seek out fantasies to stimulate us whether it is through porn or our own imagination. Try this self-love practice that assists you in transforming masturbation into an act of making love to yourself.
Create a warm and loving space for yourself, such as lighting candles and playing soft music. Start by honoring all parts of yourself, finding gratitude for your legs, your arms, and your stomach. Caress each part of your body taking it slow. Notice your mind slipping away or into fantasy mode and bring your awareness back to the present moment. As you begin to stimulate yourself, explore and try out different types of touch. See what feels good. Honor any and all emotions that may arise. Practice not having a goal; i.e. welcoming an orgasm but not needing one to happen. Allow your body to guide the way.