31Countless guys spend their time trying to figure out how to pick up women at the office despite the fact that office romance is typically against company policy at most working environments. The reality is that we spend the majority of our waking lives at our respective jobs with our co-workers. Inevitably, bonds are formed and sometimes these bonds can lead to casual office romance, dating and even marriage. This however does not change the fact that there are company policies on this topic that you are expected to adhere to. It also does not change the fact that guys will continue to run into women at the office that they want to date. This means if they decide to act on their desires, they will have to learn how to stealthily pick up these women at work without putting their jobs at risk.

Generally speaking, dating a co-worker is not really a good idea as things can get really messy at the office if things go sour and particularly if people find out. I’m certainly not encouraging you to break company policy. At the same time, I’m also not telling you to only pick up women outside of work. That decision is yours to make. However, if you do decide that you absolutely have to go after that irresistible co-worker or woman you see every day that works in a different department; this is how I’d go about it.

First and foremost, test the waters: Unless the woman you’re after is undeniably attracted to you as well, chances are that your advances will not be welcome. So start off by always saying “hi” to her and smile at her every time you cross paths with her. Doing this frequently will make her aware of you. After you’ve done this a few times, you can progress to trying to extend your interaction with her beyond just saying “hi.” Do not try to pick her up or ask her out at this point. Just keep the conversations on work related stuff or other neutral topics. The purpose of this is to gauge how receptive she is simply talking to you and also to get her comfortable around you and used to talking to you.

Secondly, assuming you now know she has a receptive attitude when you talk to her, it’s time to start joking around with her. By this I mean it’s OK to tease her a little and be somewhat playful here and there. In other words, try to bring out both her sense of humor and yours. I say this because you don’t want to come across as just another boring guy at work that talks to her and only all about business and work related stuff.

Thirdly, now that you’ve established a little rapport with her, it’s time to invite her out for lunch or happy hour drinks after work or any other after hours activity. The important part here is to make sure you invite her to join you and other co-workers. Bringing other co-workers into the picture makes things a loss less threatening to her. Plus, she’ll feel a lot more encouraged to accept the invite since everyone else is going. At this point you’re still going to keep things friendly between the two of you since you don’t want to make any advances in front of other co-workers. It’s OK to flirt a little when you have those opportunistic alone moments with her.

Lastly, now that you’ve both been out of the office together – albeit with other co-workers – the idea of going out with you again some place else won’t seem so foreign to her anymore. A few days later while at the office, invite her to hang out with you one-on-one for lunch or preferably drinks after work. Again do this privately when you cross paths in the office hallway or parking lot or someplace similar. If she accepts, this would be a good time to exchange numbers. If she declines, then politely suggest another time with a smile. You could say: “OK no problem, maybe some other time.”

Try asking several days later and if she declines again, chances are that she is not interested and it’s time to leave it alone. No matter what, play it cool and mature. Most importantly stay amicable at your job so as not to make things awkward for either one of you or anyone else at work. Knowing how to pick up women at the office and actually doing it doesn’t have to be difficult.

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