bvMost women have an innate insecurity mechanism. We worry about one thing or another like cellulite, wrinkles, stretch marks or our weight for example.

For many women the thought of flirting with men to initiate contact is worse than giving a speech to an audience of 1000 people. Why? Because we doubt ourselves. We convince ourselves from the outset that a guy won’t be attracted to us. This can be the case even if we receive lots of evidence contrary to our self-opinion, like men looking at us, paying us compliments and pursuing us. Our perception of ourselves will always be the opinion that we listen to.

They say you should always face your fears. So I am going to lay down 3 challenges for you to take up. Add them to your bucket list, phone a friend for moral support or do them with a friend but you must complete all of the challenges within a month of reading this article. Think of me as your personal coach. We all need a coach to motivate us, to push us outside of our comfort zone so we realize our potential. Like my yoga instructor says, quoted from the creator of Bikram Yoga – Bikram himself, “You have much more under the hood than you realize.” You can do these tasks easily.

Challenge Number 1

Write your name and number on a piece of paper and walk up to 3 different men over separate days that you see while out and about and like the look of, hand them this note and walk away. You don’t need to say anything to them. This is called flirting in the 21st Century. Men are often too scared to approach us and immune to our subtle flirts. This method removes all confusion by telling them that you are feeling it loud and clear. Who cares if they are taken or doesn’t call. Obviously, don’t approach a man if he is with a woman. You have nothing invested in this, you didn’t even strike up a conversation with them – so don’t think of a no call as rejection because it really isn’t!

Challenge Number 2

Walk up to man that you are attracted to, he could be in a bar or club or on the street and kiss him on the lips. I don’t mean a peck either. I’m talking tongue action. I suggest you ask him first, but this will increase your confidence immensely and build you up for challenge number 3.

Challenge Number 3

Your last challenge is to go out clubbing or bar hopping and ask 100 men on the same night if they will give you their number. I recommend you do this challenge with someone else. You will get numbers and you don’t need to do anything with them, although you can if you like. The last rule is you can’t hone in on any of these men until you have asked 100 men for their number. After that you are free to zone in on the one or ones that you liked. This rule will not only help you to finish the challenge but it will increase men’s perception of value in you because you are making them wait for your attention.

All of these challenges are designed to improve your confidence so that you can get a relationship you want with a man that you want. I don’t recommend you employ challenge number 3 as an ongoing dating strategy because men should be the ones asking for your number. You can give them yours but they should do the calling and pursuing because men want to hunt women and find that role more natural than taking on that role than the persona of the one being pursued.

Like I said, you can do these challenges with a friend – even a male friend to make it more interesting. You can turn it into a competition to make it more fun, but you must complete the challenges from beginning to end. I have two sisters, so if you have sisters, especially a sister who is more confident and outgoing than you – do the challenges with them.


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