Month: March 2016

The Looming Retirement of Baby Boomers

bbIf you have done a good job planning for your retirement and have little or no debt you are off to a flying start. Many financial advisors suggest that you will require at least 50%-60% of your working income to retire, enjoying your current standard of lifestyle.

Deciding to retire and keeping yourself busy with a hobby or volunteer work will make sure you have something to fill your time. A few of my single friends in Australia have joined ‘volunteers Abroad’ and found a totally new lease on life helping third world countries building such facilities as schools and irrigation works

If you have reached a point in your life where the kids are now gone to build their own lives and the mortgage is paid off then now is the perfect time to book your first trip or cruise, in your new lifestyle. Here are a few cruise ideas to consider.

The small ship cruise advantages

Fantastic on-board service with some cruises being only 40-50 passengers and crew.

The vessels ability to anchor in very small historic ports with waters too shallow for the giants to even consider an attempt to tie up at.

When you do reach a port of call you are part of a smaller group of usually hundreds rather than thousands.

Small ship cruises can explore the more sensitive areas such as the French Polynesian areas like the beautiful Bora Bora region.

When you are completing your ‘bucket-list’ with things you have always wanted to do, but thought it would never happen such as, go game fishing, or start a tropical garden paradise, it may be time to move on to the next chapter in life.

With all the free time retirement brings, you are going to want companionship to enjoy it. It is better to retire with a social network of friends that you can enjoy it with. If many of your friends and family are all still busy in their corporate world you might find living the life of leisure to be a little lonely.

Although many expenses drop,clearly you will still need to stick to a budget. Many experts recommend sticking to your retirement budget for 6 months before you retire to see how you cope.

Regardless, you should now be looking forward to a healthy new and fulfilling life ahead, it really is a big wide beautiful world, out there!

Letting Go Of The One Who Got Away

32I always talk about the bad relationships experiences that I have had. However there were many good ones. There were ones that I regret or wish that I had taken more seriously. There were ones who really like me and I did not like them. And now most of them, if not all, are married and are living a wonderful lives with their wives or serious girlfriends.

It is so easy to get caught up in the could of would of should of. But through these relationships are valuable lessons. The first lesson is that I was not ready for those type of men. While I can always site what the man has done wrong to me, there were times where I went about the relationships wrong way and was not ready for a real relationship. Or better yet there was time where I done the man wrong and I was the one who ruined things.

This is why it is so important that we always work on ourselves so that when the right one does come along we do not go about ruining the relationship. For myself I think this is a lesson I had to learn. Many of you may think about the one that got away, but there is a reason that they got away. A reason that both you and them must understand. And that is why it is important to look inside ourselves to realize what is was about us that caused them to get away and when we realize this, then we are sure not to repeat the same mistakes once the next “one” comes along.

This brings me to my second lesson, stop thinking about the one that got away. They are gone and if they have moved on then there is a large possibility that they are not coming back. And therefore to sit and reminiscence about what is not and what is never going to be is utterly pointless and hindering you from moving on.

I am sure that we have regrets in relationships. I am sure that there are some men out there who regret letting me get away just like there are people out there who I regret letting get away. But the best remedy for that is just to build a bridge and get over it. If you are not with that wonderful person there is a reason. If it was meant to be, then it would be. And so therefore we cannot live in past relationships, we cannot compare our new relationships to the one that we let get away.

There are a reason for both bad and good relationships that have ended, and the purpose is to learn from them both. So just to be clear, stop social media stalking that man or woman that has now moved on. Stop wishing that you were with them. Stop wondering what went wrong and how you can get it back. Let go and let God. Move on to your future. Realize that you messed up, they messed up, or perhaps a combination of both, whatever the reason is; it does not matter. There is someone else that is better out there for you, better than the one that you left behind. Your only job is to be sure that you do not bring that past baggage that you had into the new relationship into the old relationship. Got it. I hope so. Until next time folks.

You Can Choose To Be Single, And You Can Choose To Be Happy

w3Yes I am single and I am okay being single. But I must admit that it was not always this way. I used to be like other single women filled with desperation and thinking that me not having a husband or being with someone was the end of the world. With the prevalence of social media and everyone posting their happy married and couple moments all over it, I felt like I was missing something and I felt incomplete.

The idea of being 30 and single would lead the conversation with me and my over 30 single women friends. It was as though we were obsessed with it. I can recall one man that I dated in which he was attractive but no where near a good fit for me and he would often stand me up and not keep his word. My divorced friend told me that since I wanted to get married I should just accept it and not make a big deal about it. She also told me that I was too opinionated, and when talking to men even if I did not agree with them and felt like they were talking crazy; I should just nod my head and agree to show my willingness to submit. At this I gave her a crazy look and the response, that I could not agree with being treated like a door mat.

I am all for being submissive to my husband but not being your bobble head girlfriend/wife that agrees with every thing you say, no matter if I agree with it or not. After many years, YES, years of getting myself into an anger frenzy about being single I just let it go. This is because I realized something. There is more to this world for me then having the title as someones wife. I started to dream and think of other things that I wanted to accomplish in this life and that put an end to my whining and pining over not being married.

I think when you finally find a purpose in your life and when you find goals that you are moving toward, you no longer think of the minor things that are lacking in your life. Because being in a relationship and being married is important to me, but it is not the only thing that matters to me. What matters more is that I would like to give my son the world, I want to give myself the world. I want to have the freedom and financial security to travel and make my mark on society by doing the things that I am gifted at. All of a sudden this became more important to me than the ring on my finger.

“I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

I am not going to sit here and tell you that as a single person you need to be a nun and spend every waking moment in church so that you can be fully dedicated to God. I think being dedicated to God goes beyond that. It is having a purpose, using your God given talents to do the things that God wants you to do on this Earth. For me this is writing, counseling, speaking, and seeking to encourage others. For you it may be singing, helping people manage their money, acting, or the other ten million things a person could be good at. And you do not have to worry about spending enough time with your significant other, checking in with them every 5 minutes, whether they are going to approve on what you do or what you do not do. Or if you have to be home by a certain time to have dinner on the table or because your spouse wants you to be home by 5:30. You are free to do what you want, go where you want, and be where you want to be.

For single mothers this is a double edged sword because I still have to spend and care for my son obviously, but it would be a whole lot harder for me to pursue my dreams with both and husband and a son, so now I know why God has not given me one yet. And I am okay with that. Even when I really, really, really used to think that being single was equivalent to having the mark of the beast. I was really blowing it way out of proportion.

I have come to learn that as you learn and develop your life purpose you learn more about yourself and what you want out of life. When you know these things about yourself then you can better learn what to look for in the person that you are supposed to be with. And while you wait, you can actively chose to be happy and satisfied being single.

Personality Traits That Attract Most Women

pooWomen are attracted to many things, such as money, power, fame and similar. Many of them want a rich guy, who is capable to make their lives easy to live. Some of them want a strong man, ready to protect them from the dangers around the world.

But these wishes are superficial. A Relationship, built on top of those desires, never lasts for long. To be able to attract woman and more importantly, create a lasting attraction, you need to go deeper. And the only way to do it is to develop personality traits that target her emotions, capable to hit the deeper corners of her heart.

Let me explain the difference between the looks and feelings.

Many men think that if they drive a Ferrari, or own a yacht would help them attract more hot women. Others believe that building a heap of muscles would attract women. Well, that’s just wrong.

While women can get attracted to these superficial things because of lust or hope for material benefits, they aren’t driven to them because of the chemistry. They don’t feel the attraction or affection on a deeper level, which can be achieved with one thing and one thing alone – personality.

Personality is the one thing that enables you to attract her far more successfully than anything else. You don’t need to be rich or handsome to have it, it costs nothing, but it gives you more leverage than any other superficial thing out there.

Sure, now you’re probably asking “When a woman sees a guy driving Ferrari and me, driving a Ford Fiesta, who will she pick?” Well, most women will pick the one who can attract her on a deeper level. It takes some skills and effort to do it, you also don’t have much time to do it, but it can be done.

You see, when two guys are trying to attract a hot woman at the same time, only one can win. And trust me, the one with great personality almost always wins. When you’re capable of attracting a woman with your personality, she won’t care for Ferrari any more.

But what kind of personality do you need? Well, it depends. Not all types of personality traits work the same with all types of women. So, to be able to target the right type of woman with the right type of personality, you’ll need some practise. It takes some time to master the recognition of her body language, telling you what makes her tick in that particular moment, but you’ll get there after a while.

I could write a whole book about personality development, but let me point out just two traits that attract most women out there.

Funny – Women respond to someone who can make them laugh. Being funny can get you lucky in no time, because a woman feels relaxed and positive in your presence. So, try to memorize a couple of good jokes and use them every now and then. Just don’t overdo it, as you want to make her feel comfortable, without making her think about you as a friendly joker.

Cocky – This is a very important trait, neglected by most men. Being cocky gives you that special advantage over other men, because unlike them, you’re not a wuss, doing everything she wants. The cocky attitude makes you more self confident, thus more desirable, as most women like confident men. When using the cocky attitude, don’t go overboard. Remember, being a little cocky is good, but being too much cocky makes you a moron, so use it wisely. Don’t worry, over time you’ll learn how much is enough.

So, as you can see, personality traits that attract most women aren’t hard to develop. All men have them, they just need to develop those main traits to the level, where they could use them on a daily basis, whenever they need to. Remember, being rich or handsome is good, but that alone doesn’t make her feel attracted on a deeper level. Personality is the only thing that hits women’s hearts, so focus on its development as much as you can. Good luck!